tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-72155921220191227112024-02-08T10:52:46.249-08:00student nurse amyAmy Schofer: The Bottomless Vaginahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00039081443330686320noreply@blogger.comBlogger56125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7215592122019122711.post-7886444705425549162011-01-11T00:29:00.001-08:002011-01-11T00:29:55.553-08:00Week One DownNo more days of getting up at 4:45. At least I hope so. Now I'm going to be orienting on the 3-11 shift. So I still get somewhat nervous because of a new schedule. It's up and down. The bed count is still low so it's not as busy. I make rounds. It'll be interesting to see if things pick up with 3-11 but a lot of times people go to bed by 9. Though there will be less physical therapy and occ therapy so that won't be keeping patients busy. <br />
<br />
I took another orientee in to empty a colostomy bag and she said, "You should have warned me, I would have worn a mask," when we got out of the room. I was surprised she made it through nursing school without having to do that. But you never know what kind of issues patients have. <br />
<br />
A girl who is also orienting and is 19 told me she was in a "serious relationship." She's been dating a guy since she was 15. Do people really do that? Weird. <br />
<br />
There's definitely a separation between nursing students and "career" CNAs but it's not too bad so far. This week I should receive hours after I finish training. Though <strong>I hate working and want to work as little as possible</strong>, I said I'd like to work 32 hours a week in the summer and then two shifts in the fall when school begins. <br />
<br />
I'm not getting any bad or weird vibes so I think I can last for 6+ months.Amy Schofer: The Bottomless Vaginahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00039081443330686320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7215592122019122711.post-72928648305767645602008-10-11T01:09:00.000-07:002011-01-11T01:11:07.958-08:00Enemy #1I'm SO glad I have an app't with my therapist on Monday before my Tuesday meeting with the Dean of Students and the Dean of Health Services (apparently people are wasting their time reading this blog. thank you if you are and comment on it and pass on the word so I can turn it into a web page and make some money. that's why I need a steady job so I can have a salary and write and no, blogging is not writing, it's venting and just doing some general writing here and there (I have another site to review films and music and entertainment if I don't submit it elsewhere)-- I'm not quite done fighting but I think I'm at the end of the line after seeing the reaction of the Ass't Dean of Nursing and some of the faculty.<br />
<br />
What is SO wrong with me that this happens again and again? I have to move somewhere and be alone and just wait to die. No friends. No interaction with others. no boyfriends. no superiors. just me and a cat and welfare money. I'll last maybe five years. <br />
<br />
BTW, I have two trust funds due to generous grandparents. Not huge that I can live off them and never work again but they supplement my income nicely. I see the films I want to see. B and I have frequented nearly every really great restaurant in Boston/Cambridge at least once. We go to the theater once a month. I enjoy memberships to an indie movie house and several museums. <br />
<br />
I'm working on Obama's campaign, as I always get involved w/ some political campaign being a liberal feminist activitst (who dates Republicans) and also who enjoys the political scene and almost became a press secretary.<br />
<br />
<strong>I went to very good private schools and that is why I am now at a community college because I have an enormous student loan from BU. I'm just frustrated professionally. Whoever is so cowardly that they read this and actually know me and cannot email or call or text me than you will NEVER succeed in healthcare. You cannot handle tragedy, emotions, disappoints, depression which many people will have that you deal with. So shame on you.</strong><br />
<br />
You kinda know who your friends are when the chips are down and no one calls.. I trust you to use good judgment. I've heard from Robert, Dawn, Nancy Nicole and Susan.<br />
<br />
I have theories about who's spreading rumors and talking to teachers and deans about this blog. I know who likes to gossip and talk and cluster and be in cliques like high school.Amy Schofer: The Bottomless Vaginahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00039081443330686320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7215592122019122711.post-51736304865497263302008-10-10T01:08:00.000-07:002011-01-11T01:09:55.972-08:00Middlesex Community College has ruined meKicked me out over something that happened this summer at New England Rehabilitation. No investigation. They did not ask my side of the story. I was told this is it. "There is nothing that can be done." <br />
<br />
<strong>Really? This is the way you treat smart, dedicated, promising nursing students?</strong><br />
<br />
Dean Kathy Gehly did not even have the decency to sit down to speak with me and give me the letter I requested. I had asked her to mail or fax it to me but she told me to make an appointment with her secretary to come in to get it. When I arrived, she stood there, handed it to me and I said, "Should I read it now?" If it were not a big deal why didn't she mail or fax it!!! Also for someone who is a nurse and in healthcare to treat a student like dirt is truly uncalled for. She could have given me a copy of the student handbook or told me something. <br />
<br />
here is the email I sent her:<br />
<em>Amy Steele to gehlyk <br />
show details Oct 7 (2 days ago)</em> <br />
<br />
<br />
Dean Gehly,<br />
As I mentioned on the phone I need a letter stating why you gave me a clinical failure. I can either pick it up from your office or you can mail it or fax it to you (information below). Please let me know what is easier. I would also like to know where the policy is that states this and also why there is no other alternative for a student in good standing. It seems rather sad/detrimental that due to one person's opinion, I have to drop out of a program I am doing quite well in unless I am delusional about that as well. <br />
<br />
Is there any recourse for me to fight this?<br />
------------------------------------------------<br />
In the "meeting" (I use that term very loosely)<br />
I said that I was dedicated to the program. I wanted to be there. I really wanted to be a nurse. I had been doing well. This was not an academic or disiplinary problem. This is a problem from several months back from an institution that holds a grudge. My wonderful therapist, Mark, who has a MSW and PhD teaches at BU and says there is ALWAYS another option for students there. <strong>I guess you get what you pay for at a community college.</strong><br />
<br />
I just passed the injection certification on Monday and the instructors could see how well I did and the technique I have and how well prepared I was. <strong>I emailed both Professor Nancy Mizzoni and Professor Tina Cormio and neither have emailed back or even called and I find it appalling. Not very supportive. Shows they didn't think I would have been a good student and are glad I'm not in their classed anymore.</strong><br />
<br />
Professor Pherson said I was "a pleasure to watch" do my cert even though I made a few mistakes-- passed still. One bottle had a minute amount of fluid and I had to pull the needle almost entirely out. I'm really going to miss school and the class and am going into the <strong>Bell Jar </strong>as we speak. It's awful. I was so close and geting back into the groove with my meds etc. and one woman had to ruin it for me with her sour puss face (the <strong>bitch Nancy Gondek at New England Rehabilitation Hospital)</strong>?<br />
<br />
A classmate sent me this email but if no one SAYS anything it doesn't help:<br />
<em>s.x@xx to me <br />
show details 8:48 PM (18 hours ago) </em><br />
<br />
<strong>We are all so mad at the school on your behalf. The folks who just finished clinical at Woburn told horror stories of the way the nurses and aides there treated them.</strong><br />
<br />
Hang in there,<br />
Susan<br />
--<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
I also just cannot believe that no professor will help me or answer any of my emails.Amy Schofer: The Bottomless Vaginahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00039081443330686320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7215592122019122711.post-36879775588695653742008-10-08T01:05:00.000-07:002011-01-11T01:06:38.626-08:00I got kicked out of nursing school because I had a summer jobI worked at <strong>New England Rehab Hospital</strong> where I was slandered this summer. Someone said I threw a walker which I never did and vehemently denied but the nursing manager did not believe me. No one believed me apparently. They believed the distraught wife of the patient instead of the Nursing Assistant. So I quit because I could not be in an inenvironment that lacked that kind of support.<br />
<br />
Yesterday, we had our clinical orientation at NERH on the same unit that I worked at this summer and the sour-faced nurse manager <strong>Nancy Gondek</strong> noticed me and immediately talked to my clinical instructor and told her she wasn't "comfortable" with me doing clinical here unless I was under 1:1 supervision. The clinical instructor, <strong>Sue Ryan</strong>, said that it wasn't possible and next thing I knew I had "bad news" to hear: if I didn't do this clinical that I couldn't pass clinical at all (thus out of the program). NO OPTIONS PROVIDED. [Oh, Ps. Sue Ryan also said maybe nursing wasn't for me and I should consider something else in the healthcare field and she had known me for about an hour! How dare she? I've been studying to be a nurse for five years and have wanted to be a nurse for much longer!]<br />
<br />
WHAT KIND OF "TOP NOTCH" PROGRAM IS MIDDLESEX COMMUNITY COLLEGE SUPPOSED TO ME IF THEY DO NOT HELP THEIR STUDENTS WHO ARE DOING WELL (BESIDES ONE C) CONTINUE TO DO WELL AND TO DO WHAT THEY NEED TO DO TO SUCCEED INSTEAD OF JUST CUTTING THE ROPE AND LETTING GO OF THE DEAD WEIGHT BECAUSE IT'S JUST EASIER FOR THE REST OF THE CLASS TO MOVE ON WITHOUT THINKING AND BEING DRAGGED DOWN. HOW UNFAIR IS THAT? THERE HAS TO BE SOME OTHER OPTION? THERE HAS TO BE SOME OTHER WAY? <br />
<br />
Katherine Gehly, MSN, RN, Assistant Division Dean for Nursing, was very matter of fact in her presentation to me of the fact that I would not be able to continue in the program. No options. No plans to fight it. No apologies. Nothing. She could care less. Another student down. Good, I guess. That's how I felt. She didn't care if I would become an excellent nurse. <strong><em>Perhaps she has already decided that I couldn't possibly make a good nurse if someone wouldn't want me at such a divine, lovely establishment as New England Rehab.</em></strong><br />
<br />
I would also like to know where the policy is that states this and also why there is no other alternative for a student in good standing. It seems rather sad/detrimental that due to one person's opinion, I have to drop out of a program I am doing quite well in unless I am delusional about that as well.<br />
<br />
<em><strong>On a positive note:<br />
Just Monday, I passed my injection certification which was grueling and difficult. I spent many hours of prep time in and out of the lab. Prof. Pherson told me it was a pleasure to watch me. I said, "Really?" She responded, "Yes, it's been a rough morning." What a lovely compliment and then the above had to occur.</strong></em>Amy Schofer: The Bottomless Vaginahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00039081443330686320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7215592122019122711.post-27757631301368794972008-09-24T01:04:00.000-07:002011-01-11T01:04:40.364-08:00Failed test, bad moodClinical today was lousy. Didn't learn a single thing. Observed the woman the entire time. Didn't do anything hands on even though I said that I had been a CNA and a Medical Assistant. My clinical teacher said that the nurse "thought" I "didn't want to do anything." What crap that is! She didn't give me a chance. <br />
<br />
She said every time she looked at me in class I looked angry which is also bullshit. How am I supposed to have that empty look on my face. I said I was "agressive" and she said I "came across as insecure." I may have some insecurities but I am certainly not insecure about everything. <br />
<br />
When I said that preferred to live in Boston, she suggested that I should think about MGH Institute for Health Science. Is she high? I have 90K in debt from Boston University to deal with. And I would have also gone to Simmons or BC if I could have afforded it but instead I am at a community college for now. <br />
<br />
<strong>I am so insulted. </strong>How can people look at me and make such assumptions? It's so unfair.Amy Schofer: The Bottomless Vaginahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00039081443330686320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7215592122019122711.post-76777058102116890592008-09-16T00:56:00.000-07:002011-01-11T01:02:37.211-08:00Why do I do so much and still feel so crappy?The day:<br />
0620 left my house<br />
ate banana in the car<br />
<br />
0730 Arrived in Saugus <br />
Stopped at Starbucks for a Venti iced latte from Starbucks. Called Nicole (way behind) and Robert (already arrived and down at the building and at the Panera-- said I would meet him there).<br />
Got a blueberry bagel with margarine at Panera.<br />
<br />
0830-1215 Listened to elder law attorney and then teachers talk about what to expect and what assignments we would have with this rotation. A lot in a short period of time but not all that bad.<br />
<br />
12:30 Black bean soup and salad at Panera with Robert.<br />
<br />
Stopped at Sketchers and bought new pair of shoes.<br />
<br />
1400 Arrived at John Kerry campaign HQ. Spent two hours making GOTV calls. Phonebanking is not much phone but it's part of the campaign process. <br />
<br />
1600 Left Kerry HQ with t-shirt, lawn sign and button.<br />
<br />
1630 Picked up pen lights at Uniforms of America. Realized I am way out of money.<br />
<br />
1800 Voted.<br />
<br />
1810 Arrived home and wanted to cry. But I have things to do. But do I want to do them or just get in bed and never wake up again? I have very few friends. B wouldn't even miss me. He'd just move along with some airhead Match.com girl and forget he even knew me.Amy Schofer: The Bottomless Vaginahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00039081443330686320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7215592122019122711.post-65877801611633079862008-09-09T00:53:00.000-07:002011-01-11T00:56:38.269-08:00First Week Down and Still NervousIt's second semester and second week of nursing school for me and I feel like crying, getting into bed and not getting up again. I'm frustrated and doubting myself and my decision to do this program. Of course I will finish it and I do find it interesting at times, but must parts of it be so annoying. And must some of the faculty be so daft and threatening?<br />
<br />
Yesterday in lab, we went over injection sites and it should be review even though since I graduated from the Medical Assistant program (at the same school), I have done very few injection (none actually) but it all comes back to me with some practice (or will). I made a comment how it was awkward. She had me mapping the spot with my dominant hand. I had learned to map it with my non-dominant hand and then clean it with my dominant hand and inject. Not mark it and keep switching hands like switching forks back and forth. I guess I'm European that way. I said I had learned it a different way and she said dismissively, "Everyone teaches it a different way, just do it this way, blah blah." But what annoyed me is that these nurses have such disdain for my experience and my DEGREE from the SAME school in Medical Assistant and I'm now a Certified Medical Assistant (I worked hard in that program too) only a year and a half ago. I call BS on the whole thing and it got me so upset that I felt my old anger boil up again and nearly exploded, told her she was an idiot and walked out. It's all under the same health studies umbrella at the same school. I'd think they'd be happy that I kept going to pursue nursing. They are getting my money instead of another school.<br />
<br />
I'm so tired. I don't want to read tonight. So I'm not going to and last night I went for a bike ride and cried for over an hour thinking about how this was not going to improve my life because whether or not I became a nurse, Brian was going to be out of my life in the near future and it upsets me to think about that. It hurts. I feel I'm good enough and smart enough, pretty and cultured and we have fun, as often as we fight, we have fun.Amy Schofer: The Bottomless Vaginahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00039081443330686320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7215592122019122711.post-70291826230160123822008-08-01T00:51:00.000-07:002011-01-11T00:53:40.393-08:00Thank you for your support, ha haSo someone at my last job told me that she "had my back" and would try to get my job back etc. That seemed to be tougher than she expected and since then she's distanced herself as much as possible ie. cut off contact because that is what most people do when someone leave under uncomfortable circumstances. I still cannot get over the fact that neither my nurse manager, Nancy Gondek or anyone on my unit would stick up for me. One CNA had similar issues with the same spouse of a patient. So it wasn't just me. Nancy did not say ONE positive thing about me. And I did quite well. I get along with most patients. The majority. I hear things that nurses gripe about regarding particular patients. It's surprising actually. <br />
<br />
So here's the email exchange between me and my "supporter" at <strong>NEW ENGLAND REHAB</strong><br />
I should be completing another clinical there this fall and wouldn't want someone's pettiness or jealousy to ruin it for me. <br />
<br />
<strong>Amy Steele to cdemarche </strong><br />
<strong>show details Jul 16</strong> <br />
<br />
<br />
<em>Cameron,<br />
<br />
thank you for being so supportive.It means a lot to me. Often I leave an organization and feel like a leper. <br />
<br />
Amy</em><br />
<br />
<strong>Cameron DeMarche <x@comcast.net><br />
to: Amy Steele <x@gmail.com></strong><br />
<br />
<strong>date: Thu, Jul 17, 2008 at 1:06 AM</strong><br />
<br />
<em>Amy,<br />
<br />
Thank you for sending me your writings. You are very, very good. Even though the subject matter was distressing, the story was quite interesting. You really should look into continuing with this same theme in nursing; "How nurses can be so Caring, Giving, Compassionate, and Loving towards their patients" and basically "Eat their own younger species and never stand side by side each other to support each other!"The major nursing magazines such as American Journal of Nursing (AJN), RN Magazine, would love to see an article such as this. You are a very talented writer! You are special because you are unique, therefore you standout. People should take notice and learn! We will talk soon.<br />
<br />
Cameron</em><br />
<br />
<strong>So sounds nice, sweet etc. Seems I've made a friend. And I even thought a possible mentor!! How wrong could I be?</strong><br />
<br />
Amy Steele to cdemarche <br />
show details Jul 20 (12 days ago) Reply<br />
<br />
<br />
<strong>from: Amy Steele <steele85@gmail.com><br />
to:cdemarche<br />
<br />
date: Sun, Jul 20, 2008 at 9:10 PM</strong><br />
<br />
<br />
<em>I think my piece is good and should get published somewhere. I don't think it's that sad. it's reality. <br />
<br />
I mailed notes to both the CEO and Nancy regarding the doctor being in the room when I supposedly "threw" the walker. I know they won't consider bringing me back in even though there's not much time left for the summer. I prob. won't find a job. I really messed up.<br />
<br />
My concern is that I am going to be screwed over by people when I come there for clinical. If ONE nurse says something to my clinical instructor I'm out. seriously. I had a friend get kicked out of the program d/t performance at clinical though not bec. of complaints from staff . we generally don't have a ton of interaction but have some. enough</em><br />
<br />
<strong>Cameron DeMarche to me </strong><br />
<strong>show details Jul 22 (11 days ago) Reply</strong><br />
<br />
<br />
<em>Good to hear from you, you sound better! The little time left in the summer you should take to relax, do what you enjoy, write, and maybe work on listening and digesting more before you verbally react. The fine art of teaching and learning is to know when and how to speak and when to just listen even if your almost biting through your tongue! It is a growth period that can happen at any age, usually in your 40's when you realize that the reactive anger and outbursts take too much energy out of you and physically and mentally hurt you. (I am speaking from personal experience) It is better to direct your energies into listening, remaining calm, learning and using your intelligence to speak and challenge and grow! Be Calm, Relax, Write, Keep in touch<br />
Cameron</em><br />
<br />
<strong>WOW. IF I WERE INDEPENDENTLY WEALTHY, I DO NOT THINK I'D BE IN NURSING SCHOOL RIGHT NOW. INSTEAD I'D BE IN THE COOL A/C OF MY MARLBOROUGH STREET CONDO/ BACK BAY WORKING ON MY WRITING, DOING SOME VOLUNTEER WORK AND TRAVELING. PLEASE. HOW CONDESCENDING CAN ONE PERSON BE?</strong>Amy Schofer: The Bottomless Vaginahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00039081443330686320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7215592122019122711.post-40222210225919043812008-07-16T00:50:00.000-07:002011-01-11T00:51:21.072-08:00Being accused of doing something I DID NOT DO<strong></strong><br />
<h3>I CANNOT EVEN BELIEVE THAT BOTH THE CEO AND THE NURSE MANAGER AND HR PEOPLE AND EVERYONE AT NEW ENGLAND REHAB BELIEVES I WOULD HAVE THE AUDACITY TO THROW A WALKER IN FRONT OF A PATIENT. OR AT ALL. </h3><br />
<br />
<strong>IT PISSES ME OFF. <br />
<br />
IT DEPRESSES ME. <br />
<br />
I'M SO SAD. <br />
<br />
IT'S DISTURBING. <br />
<br />
UPSETTING. <br />
<br />
UNBELIEVABLE.</strong>Amy Schofer: The Bottomless Vaginahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00039081443330686320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7215592122019122711.post-53746359902351609392008-07-15T00:48:00.000-07:002011-01-11T00:49:54.771-08:00Another job lost: New England Rehabilitation in WoburnI think I got fired. <br />
<br />
Nancy "talked" to me yesterday and had three patient "complaints": two were nurses--first the other night a nurse floating to that floor Jane helped me boost a patient, pointed to the TEDs that were on and said, "You have to take those off." I said, "Yes, I know, I'm not done yet." But then added, "I'm not stupid." She yelled at me to not toalk to her lie that in front of patients yada yada. I went to talk to Krista, the nurse manager and she said "We all have to respect each other." Of course I have to respect other people and it's not the other way around. She never mentioned that the nurse could have also handled this more "respectfully." Bullshit. <br />
<br />
second, I floated to 2South (ironically where I had done my clinical rotation in the spring) and as soon as I got there this nurse Haley who was a b-- said: "This is how we do it here, we have a VS book AND we put it on the wall" No hello or introductions etal. She told Nancy some guy said, "Where'd you find her?" Okay, why do these people feel the need to tattle immediately. <br />
<br />
Sunday, a patient asked to go back to bed and I looked at the board as I was TRAINED to do. I don't want someone falling on me. I'm not familar with this guy. He said he needed the walker and the wife yelled that he couldn't walk or stand without it. I said I needed to get help or get the nurse. I actually cannot recall all the words. As I walked out the door, she said, "She crazy, isn't she?" to her husband. So I walked back in and said, "Crazy?" and then went on to explain that I am only doing my job. I thought I handled it well. I was professional but of course Krista took the patient's side. I'm sick thinking about this. <br />
<br />
I spoke with Cameron for about an hour as I ran into her as I left. <br />
<br />
And when anyone equates CNA work to RN work that's insane. You can be a good nurse and enjoy the job and not have liked the literal shitty work of a CNA. <br />
<br />
But in general I'm mad I didn't just stay quiet and not talk to anyone. It's better that way. This is what all the young, naive, un-jaded girls do.<br />
<br />
No one knows all the good moments I've had over these past few weeks because they only see the bad in me.Amy Schofer: The Bottomless Vaginahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00039081443330686320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7215592122019122711.post-81891857289247351262008-07-14T00:47:00.000-07:002011-01-11T00:48:38.460-08:00During a crying spell/breakdown the other night where I cried: "I can't sleep. It's 3a.m., I'm exhausted and I can't get to sleep," Brian put his hand on my boob. Just rested it there. No tweaking or pinching the nipple.<br />
<br />
Me: "I don't think that's going to help me."<br />
<br />
Brian: "It'll help me."Amy Schofer: The Bottomless Vaginahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00039081443330686320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7215592122019122711.post-42113290300061859502008-07-12T00:46:00.000-07:002011-01-11T00:47:34.234-08:00Inn at Robbins Brook-Acton/ wimp of a directorSo I interviewed for a position I never even wanted at Inn at Robbins Brook, an assisted living facility, back in February. I never heard back from the woman. She took a copy of my driver's and CNA licenses. <br />
<br />
I'm thinking of writing a piece about this whole ignoring the candidate thing. Remember getting rejection letters?<br />
<br />
<br />
<em>On Fri, Jul 11, 2008 at 8:51 AM, Sheila Sussman <ssus13@yahoo.com>wrote:<br />
<br />
Dear Amy Steele,<br />
<br />
Thank you for taking the time to fill out an application and talk to me about a CNA position .<br />
There are so many people that apply for nurses aide jobs. I respond to those candidates who follow-up with a phone call inquiry or an e-mail showing interest in the position. Generally, candidates that really want to work here, call me in a week to see if I have made a decision. You applied in February and you never showed any enthusiasm for the position.<br />
<br />
Good luck in the future.<br />
<br />
Sincerely,<br />
<br />
Sheila Sussman RN<br />
Resident Care Director<br />
The Inn at Robbins Brook</em>My reply:<br />
<br />
[And I know I'm a bitch already.]<br />
<br />
<em>Well, to be honest, I wasn't interested within minutes of speaking with you. <br />
As soon as I started to tell you about my previous CNA and Medical Assistant experience (which you had asked me to do), you instantly cut me off saying, "We don't do that here." And I'd say, "Well I understand that but this is what I did at X place." You just weren't interested in hearing about what I had done and could contribute in any manner and it was rude, inappropriate and amateurish.<br />
<br />
I'm honestly way too educated for that type of position anyway. Just wanted to get a response because I'm a writer and working on a piece. <br />
<br />
Amy Steele, M.S., C.M.A</em>Amy Schofer: The Bottomless Vaginahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00039081443330686320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7215592122019122711.post-66271971467352408132008-07-05T00:41:00.000-07:002011-01-11T00:42:30.390-08:00Issues: Transfers, strained backs, hiding CNAsBoy I am so unhappy. I cried at work a bit and then cried all the way home. I don't know if I can handle this work at NE Rehab. I know I don't have that much time left to go. But to be this unhappy is not good. What is wrong with me?<br />
<br />
Things seemed to be going okay tonight. Then I had two people that were nearly impossible to transfer to the bathroom. OT/PT had not evaluated yet and these people had been there for several days. This is not fair to us and not fair to the patients. I don't want someone falling and do not want to strain/hurt my back. <br />
<br />
Some annoying OT guy was with one of my patients and he left a urine hat with TP in it on the floor of the bathroom. Gross. I wouldn't go to PT and leave crap behind. Also, I asked him why it was labeled on the board to use a gait belt but then there weren't any around. What an asshole he was.<br />
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This other CNA is never "available" to help me. He has excuse after excuse. Or he meanders over. He talks on his cell phone at the back end of the hallway too. So loud tonight that a patient complained about it because she could not sleep. Despicable. Save the phone conversations until later.<br />
<br />
I told the Unit Nurse about the transfers and the OT "incident" and she brushed it off. I said (of course), "sorry I even said anything." She replied: "Excuse me?" I said that she had basically just dismissed what I had said. Then she said, "I can't do anything about it now at 11." I said that she could make a note of it or a note to them. So frustrating.<br />
<br />
For years I've obviously been dealing with this too, as I am a CNA, I am uneducated and stupid. Now here my "title" is Student Nurse Technician, so people know I'm in nursing school which makes it a bit better but I'm still treated like CRAP.Amy Schofer: The Bottomless Vaginahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00039081443330686320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7215592122019122711.post-83139053755234877932008-07-03T00:39:00.000-07:002011-01-11T00:41:01.408-08:00Choice quotes<strong><em>I hate you when you’re unemployed.</em></strong><br />
<br />
- Brian SchoferAmy Schofer: The Bottomless Vaginahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00039081443330686320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7215592122019122711.post-27800243438694714522008-07-03T00:37:00.000-07:002011-01-11T00:39:42.544-08:00Dry sterile dressing changeGot to change a dressing today. It was just like clinical. The spot was on the heel. I set up my sterile field (even though it was clean technique), unwrapped the bandage, cleaned the wound with saline and wrapped it back up with a figure 8. Very exciting. It's cool when I have nurses that will have me do things like this.<br />
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Other than that, the night started off not that great and I smoked a cigarette and left a teary message for my mom during my break. I just felt I couldn't do four days a week. My back is so hurting when I am there working. My days off, this week at least, it's not. <br />
<br />
So maybe I can stick it out for the nine more weeks to go!!Amy Schofer: The Bottomless Vaginahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00039081443330686320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7215592122019122711.post-65273848157044088612008-07-01T00:36:00.000-07:002011-01-11T00:37:38.172-08:00Crampy and bad moodI got canceled for yesterday and guess I won't get canceled for today because there are other per diems that would get canceled (to make things fair). The thing is, I have my period and it's pretty bad this month... I'll spare the details. <br />
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Pushed myself through a 15 mile bike ride today. I burned only 675 calories. Normally it's much more (800). It took me the same amount of time. Kinda weird. <br />
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This past week at the Rehab hospital proved challenging. My back bothered me more than usual and now I know that PMS was partly to blame. I also think my back will get a bit more used to some of the work. <br />
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Another issue with other CNAs not answering call lights which has caused me to leave two jobs! I felt I was answering lights for everyone from the moment I arrived on the floor and other people only answer the lights for "their" people. Horrible. If it's something like "I need to go to bed," I tell the person I will find their CNA. If it's easy, I just take care of it. I went to answer a call light and walked right past this Haitian (are they lazy or blaise?) who was leaning against the wall directly across from the call light. The light was right in front of his eyes. How could he ignore that? How could anyone with any conscience or sense of decency or humanity ignore that? I'm mad thinking about it and I think I have to work with him all weekend. He just is not helpful. One of those disappearing types. When you need help, he's nowhere to be found.Amy Schofer: The Bottomless Vaginahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00039081443330686320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7215592122019122711.post-44764260289014151142008-06-26T00:33:00.000-07:002011-01-11T00:34:46.181-08:00Why don't people answer call lights?<strong>Apathy, laziness, lack of teamwork=my new job<br />
</strong>Oh I cannot stand it. Just like at the nursing home there are several people from Haiti working at the Rehab place. I don't know why they all become CNAs. They stick to themselves, speak in Creole all the time and talk on the phone to their families. The worst of it is that they only answer call lights if it is for one of their assigned patients. I have never understood this and it irked me to no end at the nursing home I worked at a few years ago. <br />
<br />
I answered tons of "other people's patient's" call lights tonight and I don't have a problem with it. If I cannot help the person, I go and get someone to help me. This is a team situation. <br />
<br />
When the change of shift occurred, Gail and I were sitting in the back room, having just finished doing our patients and paperwork. We had been getting call lights. A nurse that just came in said, "Are those girls back there answering call lights at all?" I was livid. I said, "I've been answering tons of call lights since I got here." I got up and walked around the hall several times. Then I went back to tell Gail how annoyed I was and that I hated this and it's unprofessional (and I was accused of being unprofessional by the nurse manager? How ironic!!) and a call light went off-- and it beeps a few times so I jumped up and said I'd get it. Well, as I walked into the room, I walked right by the male CNA. He was standing right across from the room where the patient was! How absurb and abolutely lazy and selfish and inappropriate is that? I don't want to screw over the patients but I don't want to help this guy anymore. What an a-hole. <br />
<br />
It reminds me of the nursing home. I was the only non-Haitian working. At night they'd sit in their chairs and a call light would go off and they'd look down the hall and say, "it's yours." What the fuck! It's MINE. It's part of my assignment but as far as I'm concerned every CNA is responsible for answering call lights. <br />
<br />
Between the disrepect of the nurse and the other CNAs. Oh, and the nurse I was working with didn't even introduce herself to me and barely talked to me, I didn't even want to go back!!!<br />
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On top of that my back hurts. It's WAY too much physical labor and I should just put my Medical Assistant degree to use. It might be more interesting.Amy Schofer: The Bottomless Vaginahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00039081443330686320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7215592122019122711.post-49002679042240928002008-06-23T00:32:00.000-07:002011-01-11T00:33:31.697-08:00ooo my aching backwoke up this morning and I could barely move. will join the gym today because it's pouring rain and I can't walk or bike. Plus it's going to get too hot some days to even do those activities unfortunately. It was busy on the floor right up until 10. I didn't sit down until then. It's hard to be on my feet that long. Mainly just making sure people are set. doing vital signs when I first get there and then we get dinner tray out at 5p. A lot of people are fall risks so they need to monitored. A few people need help getting in and out of bed etc.<br />
<br />
I iced my back last night. I need a chiropractor it seems.Amy Schofer: The Bottomless Vaginahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00039081443330686320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7215592122019122711.post-257465532796830092008-06-19T00:29:00.000-07:002011-01-11T00:32:04.315-08:00The tasksLast week I trained days and felt like I mostly made beds. This week I have done glucose checks, a bladder scan, vital signs and I've been busy. It's a good routine the night shift. Though this is not the unit I am assigned to work on I'm told that I will float as a per-diem.<br />
<br />
Two 19-year-old per-diem Student Nurse Techs were flabbergasted when they found out I was in my mid (to late!) 30s. And this was in talking to them at different times. One girl said: "I thought you were 23!" ha ha.<br />
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This weekend I have to sort and organize. <br />
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I'm sitting here in my sports bra--should I do a speed bike ride at Brian's?-- because I'm not 100% sure that I'm supposed to go in to work today. Just left a message for the nurse manager. I think I'll wait it out a few more minutes, finish the book I'm reading and go take a power walk. I burn 340 calories on this two mile walk if I use weights. It takes about 45 minutes. It's just down to the end of my neighborhood and back up. There are hills which is good. It's a walk that I should be doing every morning in addition to a regular workout. I know I should or the weight isn't going to come off. I guess I should just show up as I need the money and all.Amy Schofer: The Bottomless Vaginahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00039081443330686320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7215592122019122711.post-24407920836617707722008-06-11T00:26:00.000-07:002011-01-11T00:28:19.357-08:00Clincial Aspect of OrientationI woke up at 4:45 this morning to make it to Woburn by 7 a.m. I stayed at B's because it was opressively hot and he has air conditioning. I managed to get up and out on time and even make breakfast and iced coffee to bring along for the ride! Yeah, me. Saving money.<br />
<br />
1. Though I'd much rather be in med/surg, until I can land a job, rehab should be an excellent experience for the resume and towards my nursing degree--ie. I need an overview of many different areas of nursing.<br />
<br />
2. By 8:30 a.m. my back was hurting me.<br />
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3. By 2:00 my feet were bothering me. <br />
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4. I don't take vital signs or do that much (so far). Making beds. Helping people with ADLs and getting dressed. I&O. It's much slower paced than I expected but it could change. The census is low. Lots of empty beds; which makes it curious that they hired so many nursing assistants.Amy Schofer: The Bottomless Vaginahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00039081443330686320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7215592122019122711.post-20627603133124747862008-06-09T00:25:00.000-07:002011-01-11T00:27:53.829-08:00Too Hot for almost anythingToday, <strong>I need to take my nutrition exam </strong>by 8p, I'll re-read the two chapters and take the 45 minute test. Very strict on time. We get points taken off for going over so I will have to keep a close eye on the clock. The group project to analyze The Native American Food pyramid and compare it to the US Food pyramid did not go very well. My group member emailed me after midnight (it was due at 8a on Saturday). I work 3-11 in general so this isn't the best for me. Plus the two groups were so similar I had no idea what to say when she wanted 2-5 pages. The other person took all the credit for everything so I probably didn't score very well.<br />
<br />
Our next assignment is to re-design the food pyramid. I'll put lots of veggies on the bottom and no meat sources.<br />
<br />
<strong>My exchange with my teacher via email:</strong><br />
<br />
Me: I found this project confusing. There's little difference between the Native American and US Food Pyramids. <br />
<br />
Instructor: I don't' understand why similar food pyramids would be confusing. There would be a lot of similarities, and only a few differences in your write up.<br />
<br />
Me: Erin and I emailed a bit but never really connected. She suggested that I do the pros and cons and she'd do the similarities and differences and we'd decide which made more sense. As this is due in the morning I decided to just submit what I had done instead of having nothing go in. <br />
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Me: why are projects due at 8am on a Saturday? <br />
<br />
Instructor: The academic schedule usually ends with Friday classes, so instead of making due dates Friday at 5 pm, I extend the deadline to Saturday morning to give students the opportunity to work on a project Friday night, when most people are home and not at work. <br />
<br />
Me: I work 3-11 3-4 shifts a week and every other weekend. I cannot cater to everyone's work schedules- there are 25 students in this class and everyone has a different work schedule. Traditionally on-line students have very unique work schedules - that is why on-line works best for them. Also what if someone works M-F and needs all day Saturday to get the work done. <br />
<br />
Instructor: Then you should schedule your time differently so that you can finish you assignments before Saturday. Every class I have taken online (5 at MCC) have had even deadlines on a Sunday usually. It is natural to start a new chapter/section of a course at the beginning of the week, so assignments usually are due at the end of the week. You can always hand in things early.Amy Schofer: The Bottomless Vaginahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00039081443330686320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7215592122019122711.post-43603714835768919202008-06-06T21:32:00.000-07:002011-01-07T21:40:09.779-08:00Sore today/lots of fruitsI lifted with B yesterday. He happened to come home during the day. The squats killed me otherwise I'm pretty good and know that I need to do that more often. But I got home and cried and cried and then didn't go to sleep until past 3am and got up at 11. It's 2:30 and I'm supposed to be in Lowell at 4 but I don't think I'm going to make it. I must must join a gym. Very soon. I will see how my orientation a the rehab place goes next week and then decide where to go. I also need to be getting some paychecks. I do want to be at a gym. The weather is going to be hot and sticky starting this weekend. I need to have a gym so I can exercise daily. Today it's raining and my yoga DVDs aren't really appealing to me though I know I should just do them. I cannot make up my mind. <br />
<br />
For breakfast I had a <strong>smoothie</strong> (I'm out of bananas) <strong>with almond milk, blueberries and pineapple and also Hemp waffles with almond butter</strong>. Probably my favorite breakfast though when school starts I need a good to-go cup for the smoothie. A cup of tea on the side.Amy Schofer: The Bottomless Vaginahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00039081443330686320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7215592122019122711.post-32507016668876185142008-06-05T21:29:00.000-07:002011-01-07T21:32:23.514-08:00Fighting off depressionSo blue and my psychiatrist thought that putting me on the meds I put myself on two years ago is the thing to do. Didn't realize I should be in med school instead of nursing school. So I'm kind of annoyed but I see a new PCP in August and I'll swich over to another psychiatrist then. Today I am aching everywhere and I know that if I'm going to lose weight, I have to pump up the work outs and that's hard when my ankles (broke one a year ago) are swollen and my back (DDD and protruding discs) hurt. I really just want to lie in bed and cry which I did tonight for a few hours while cranking <em>Goldfrapp</em>, <em>Snow Patrol</em> and <em>Death Cab for Cutie</em>.<br />
<br />
I'm waffling on whether or not to stay in the nutrition class. In general it can be a hassle. Group projects where you don't meet the people in person?Amy Schofer: The Bottomless Vaginahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00039081443330686320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7215592122019122711.post-69623816087944207942008-06-02T21:27:00.000-07:002011-01-07T21:29:49.512-08:00Walking, readingI'm a bit concerned that the HR rep has not gotten back to me about my new start date for my nursing assistant position. I assume it is next week but it would be professional of her to confirm that date with me so that I can plan on it. It would be strange if I went in for one day of orientation, got all the paperwork done, accepted an offer and then they changed their mind. I'm skeptical about jobs as I've had a run of bad luck in the past few years. <br />
<br />
Today I had a smoothie again-- soy milk, banana, one cup blueberries and one cup tropical mix (strawberries, mango and pineapple). It actually made too much and I didn't finish it because I also had a bowl of oatmeal with two tbsp flax seeds. <br />
<br />
For lunch, I just had a veggie burger (Amy's California) on toasted Ezekiel bread with soy cheese, lettuce and tomato. <br />
<br />
I took a <strong>walk</strong> before lunch for 40 minutes and then my friend Miriam met me around 5ish and we did the same walk. I need to start doing that walk every day first thing in addition to some other activity because (and my heart monitor isn't working right) it burns between 200 and 300 calories. <br />
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I'm hooked on the book by Emily Giffin: <em>Love the One You're With</em>. I will finish it tonight. I'm also watching my TiVoed eps of <em>Mad Men</em>. What a brilliant show. Classy, slick, irreverent, well-written.Amy Schofer: The Bottomless Vaginahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00039081443330686320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7215592122019122711.post-15455652123641072832008-06-01T21:25:00.000-07:002011-01-07T21:27:46.573-08:00Something better, something worseHow pathetic is it that my own mother just blew me off? She got a better offer: her friend was making "Oprah's turkey burgers" (which of course I had to point out were actually Donald Trump's Mara Lago turkey burgers--I saw the show). I was only making vegan meatloaf and mashed sweet potatoes. Plus she really needs her hair colored. <br />
<br />
I'm so alone. I'm lonely. The walls are closing in on me. I don't see my life getting any better. Despite all my healthy eating and long bikerides, my weight is stagnant. I need to lose 60 pounds. How did I get this fat? If I just stop eating will that help me at all? I know I can't do that. What if I just get in bed and never get out, will everything just go away? Can I just shut down and shut everything out? Can I just give up and completely isolate myself? I have very few friends. If I didn't have Brian, I'd have no social life. He takes me out to see concerts and to the theater and to museums on a regular basis. <br />
<br />
I do not want to turn 39. I'm supposed to be a professional writer. The last time I got paid to write something was 2002. That is so depressingly pathetic. I once thought I had a career, I had a future. Now I just feel I need to make an exit plan. I hate myself. I hate what I've become. I'm dark and irritable and no one particularly likes me even when I try to let people in. I just cannot do it anymore. I know that PMS escalate my dark, hopeless and sad feelings but they are always there and I cannot stand this any longer. I've been unhappy as long as I can remember. I remember crying on Friday and Saturday nights in high school because I didn't have any plans and "everyone else" did. And I was blonde and skinny and smart and athletic! Now I'm just smart and nothing has changed.Amy Schofer: The Bottomless Vaginahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00039081443330686320noreply@blogger.com0