Being accused of doing something I DID NOT DO

I CANNOT EVEN BELIEVE THAT BOTH THE CEO AND THE NURSE MANAGER AND HR PEOPLE AND EVERYONE AT NEW ENGLAND REHAB BELIEVES I WOULD HAVE THE AUDACITY TO THROW A WALKER IN FRONT OF A PATIENT. OR AT ALL.

IT PISSES ME OFF.

IT DEPRESSES ME.

I'M SO SAD.

IT'S DISTURBING.

UPSETTING.

UNBELIEVABLE.

Another job lost: New England Rehabilitation in Woburn

I think I got fired.

Nancy "talked" to me yesterday and had three patient "complaints": two were nurses--first the other night a nurse floating to that floor Jane helped me boost a patient, pointed to the TEDs that were on and said, "You have to take those off." I said, "Yes, I know, I'm not done yet." But then added, "I'm not stupid." She yelled at me to not toalk to her lie that in front of patients yada yada. I went to talk to Krista, the nurse manager and she said "We all have to respect each other." Of course I have to respect other people and it's not the other way around. She never mentioned that the nurse could have also handled this more "respectfully." Bullshit.

second, I floated to 2South (ironically where I had done my clinical rotation in the spring) and as soon as I got there this nurse Haley who was a b-- said: "This is how we do it here, we have a VS book AND we put it on the wall" No hello or introductions etal. She told Nancy some guy said, "Where'd you find her?" Okay, why do these people feel the need to tattle immediately.

Sunday, a patient asked to go back to bed and I looked at the board as I was TRAINED to do. I don't want someone falling on me. I'm not familar with this guy. He said he needed the walker and the wife yelled that he couldn't walk or stand without it. I said I needed to get help or get the nurse. I actually cannot recall all the words. As I walked out the door, she said, "She crazy, isn't she?" to her husband. So I walked back in and said, "Crazy?" and then went on to explain that I am only doing my job. I thought I handled it well. I was professional but of course Krista took the patient's side. I'm sick thinking about this.

I spoke with Cameron for about an hour as I ran into her as I left.

And when anyone equates CNA work to RN work that's insane. You can be a good nurse and enjoy the job and not have liked the literal shitty work of a CNA.

But in general I'm mad I didn't just stay quiet and not talk to anyone. It's better that way. This is what all the young, naive, un-jaded girls do.

No one knows all the good moments I've had over these past few weeks because they only see the bad in me.

During a crying spell/breakdown the other night where I cried: "I can't sleep. It's 3a.m., I'm exhausted and I can't get to sleep," Brian put his hand on my boob. Just rested it there. No tweaking or pinching the nipple.

Me: "I don't think that's going to help me."

Brian: "It'll help me."

Inn at Robbins Brook-Acton/ wimp of a director

So I interviewed for a position I never even wanted at Inn at Robbins Brook, an assisted living facility, back in February. I never heard back from the woman. She took a copy of my driver's and CNA licenses.

I'm thinking of writing a piece about this whole ignoring the candidate thing. Remember getting rejection letters?


On Fri, Jul 11, 2008 at 8:51 AM, Sheila Sussman wrote:

Dear Amy Steele,

Thank you for taking the time to fill out an application and talk to me about a CNA position .
There are so many people that apply for nurses aide jobs. I respond to those candidates who follow-up with a phone call inquiry or an e-mail showing interest in the position. Generally, candidates that really want to work here, call me in a week to see if I have made a decision. You applied in February and you never showed any enthusiasm for the position.

Good luck in the future.

Sincerely,

Sheila Sussman RN
Resident Care Director
The Inn at Robbins BrookMy reply:

[And I know I'm a bitch already.]

Well, to be honest, I wasn't interested within minutes of speaking with you.
As soon as I started to tell you about my previous CNA and Medical Assistant experience (which you had asked me to do), you instantly cut me off saying, "We don't do that here." And I'd say, "Well I understand that but this is what I did at X place." You just weren't interested in hearing about what I had done and could contribute in any manner and it was rude, inappropriate and amateurish.

I'm honestly way too educated for that type of position anyway. Just wanted to get a response because I'm a writer and working on a piece.

Amy Steele, M.S., C.M.A

Issues: Transfers, strained backs, hiding CNAs

Boy I am so unhappy. I cried at work a bit and then cried all the way home. I don't know if I can handle this work at NE Rehab. I know I don't have that much time left to go. But to be this unhappy is not good. What is wrong with me?

Things seemed to be going okay tonight. Then I had two people that were nearly impossible to transfer to the bathroom. OT/PT had not evaluated yet and these people had been there for several days. This is not fair to us and not fair to the patients. I don't want someone falling and do not want to strain/hurt my back.

Some annoying OT guy was with one of my patients and he left a urine hat with TP in it on the floor of the bathroom. Gross. I wouldn't go to PT and leave crap behind. Also, I asked him why it was labeled on the board to use a gait belt but then there weren't any around. What an asshole he was.

This other CNA is never "available" to help me. He has excuse after excuse. Or he meanders over. He talks on his cell phone at the back end of the hallway too. So loud tonight that a patient complained about it because she could not sleep. Despicable. Save the phone conversations until later.

I told the Unit Nurse about the transfers and the OT "incident" and she brushed it off. I said (of course), "sorry I even said anything." She replied: "Excuse me?" I said that she had basically just dismissed what I had said. Then she said, "I can't do anything about it now at 11." I said that she could make a note of it or a note to them. So frustrating.

For years I've obviously been dealing with this too, as I am a CNA, I am uneducated and stupid. Now here my "title" is Student Nurse Technician, so people know I'm in nursing school which makes it a bit better but I'm still treated like CRAP.

Choice quotes

I hate you when you’re unemployed.

- Brian Schofer

Dry sterile dressing change

Got to change a dressing today. It was just like clinical. The spot was on the heel. I set up my sterile field (even though it was clean technique), unwrapped the bandage, cleaned the wound with saline and wrapped it back up with a figure 8. Very exciting. It's cool when I have nurses that will have me do things like this.

Other than that, the night started off not that great and I smoked a cigarette and left a teary message for my mom during my break. I just felt I couldn't do four days a week. My back is so hurting when I am there working. My days off, this week at least, it's not.

So maybe I can stick it out for the nine more weeks to go!!

Crampy and bad mood

I got canceled for yesterday and guess I won't get canceled for today because there are other per diems that would get canceled (to make things fair). The thing is, I have my period and it's pretty bad this month... I'll spare the details.

Pushed myself through a 15 mile bike ride today. I burned only 675 calories. Normally it's much more (800). It took me the same amount of time. Kinda weird.

This past week at the Rehab hospital proved challenging. My back bothered me more than usual and now I know that PMS was partly to blame. I also think my back will get a bit more used to some of the work.

Another issue with other CNAs not answering call lights which has caused me to leave two jobs! I felt I was answering lights for everyone from the moment I arrived on the floor and other people only answer the lights for "their" people. Horrible. If it's something like "I need to go to bed," I tell the person I will find their CNA. If it's easy, I just take care of it. I went to answer a call light and walked right past this Haitian (are they lazy or blaise?) who was leaning against the wall directly across from the call light. The light was right in front of his eyes. How could he ignore that? How could anyone with any conscience or sense of decency or humanity ignore that? I'm mad thinking about it and I think I have to work with him all weekend. He just is not helpful. One of those disappearing types. When you need help, he's nowhere to be found.