Don't know why I doubt my skills so much. Perhaps because the nurses who are instructing us have said things such as, "CNAs often have the most difficult time" or "Medical Assistants just pump it up to 200!" ooh, all willy-nilly like. Which I've seen and can just say there are good and bad nurses, smart and average intelligence nurses as there are good and bad in every profession. So ridiculous.
I still feel the third wheel when I go to lab and try to practice skills and feel like I am invisible and have a hard time jumping into a group or once I'm in I get pushed out like in high school or something.
HUGE HUGE terrible scary panic attack last night. I was about to go to bed around this time and just got a huge wave of panic. My heart raced and I had to get up and walk and then I felt so unsettled and floaty and weird.
Oh, another instructor told me "Nursing is a stressful job and you need to get it under control." I had been a bit snippy when she made a comment that i thought was obvious while we were doing simulated bed baths and making beds! egads. I am doing very well in keeping mum however. I don't say much during classes. I am going to make a stronger effort to say even less though. It's not worth jeopardizing what is my last chance to make some decent money.